Manage Conflict Through Discovery?

There’s more than one way to skin a cat.Remyonmybooks

This is a very old saying essentially meaning there is more than one way to get to your goal.

Most people would agree with that idea, but how many people actually believe it?

It certainly is easy to say.

Can you be as flexible when you find yourself in conflict with someone with an opposing point of view?  How do you respond to someone who objects to your plans?   

Caught up in the drama, your view of the conflict could look more like Godzilla versus Mothra.  But I assure you – the view from outside looks more like two dwarves mud wrestling.  And while that might be a spectacle, it won’t help you move your project along.

Avoid the spectacle by changing your paradigm:
In The Magic of Conflict, written by Thomas F Crum, Crum recommends that instead of jumping in the mud, you take a step back and look at the situation in a different way.
Instead of coming at them from attack mode.
Shift into Discovery mode:

When you discover something you don’t need to defend it or attack others ideas about it.  From this perspective you are open to have your beliefs changed.  There is no attachment.  If you’re looking at a risk or a problem – you can be in perpetual learner’s mode.  Not ‘knowing anything’ as a certainty – and open to the different perspective.

When you discover something you don’t need to prove the other viewpoint wrong.  You want to learn more about the different idea.  Instead of judging it, you are free to truly listen to the other perspective.

When you discover something your focus isn’t on yourself…or being perfect.  You are more willing to take risks and make mistakes in  an attempt to explore different options. As Crum writes, “The power of discovery encourages us to explore solutions rather than spend excess energy on blame and justification.”

When you find yourself caught up in a drama with someone – instead of looking for ways to prove them wrong or justify yourself, step back and change your perspective.

If you’re willing to look at your situation through the eyes of discovery, you may find another way to achieve your goal…or you may learn something new.

Leave a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.

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