Just as water seeks the lowest level, dysfunction seeks the lowest level of tolerance. If your standard for what you require in life and relationships is low, bad things will ooze into your life just as water dribbles to the lowest spot of ground.
-Dr Henry Cloud
Knowing when to say ‘when’ is one of the most useful of life skills.
It can be useful in your personal and professional lives. It can help you manage your projects, your time and yourself.
Without the ability to know when it’s time to back off, you could find yourself hanging onto your temper by a thread or making bad decisions at critical moments. You know when you’re getting close to your edges when:
- You get to work and find yourself with a list of to-dos that has you re-prioritizing medical appointments that were scheduled 6 months in advance.
I know, in times like these, work seems to take priority. After all, you want to keep your job, but you need to stay healthy and employed. - You read a joking email from a colleague and it goes so far over your head that you take it seriously and respond with series of what seem to be insightful questions to get to ‘the root of the matter.’
If after realizing that it was a joke you still don’t laugh, time for a break. Go expose yourself to some unfiltered air outside of the building. - When you’re on the third reply to an email what seems to have an ever expanding audience of readers.
Stop typing. Push back from the keyboard and go get a cup a coffee. When you come back, pick up the phone or LEAVE YOUR CUBE and go talk to the person yanking on the other end of the email thread. - When your day starts at 6 am with a meeting, goes through 6 pm and then you have another meeting at 10 pm that evening that you have to take.
Unless the meeting involves life or death, nothing is so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow.
Shut down the laptop and put it back in the bag (I know you’re working at home). - When unemployment is looking like a vacation without any benefits.
If you get to this state of mind, you are way off base and dangerously close to burnout, if you’re not already there. In Japan they have a phrase, karoshi 過労死 or death from overwork. The belief is that the dedicated employees worked themselves to death out of a “samarai-like pride.”
You’re not a samarai. Stop it. Shut down the computer.
Knowing when to say when is critical to staying balanced. When you love your job, sometimes love can cross over into burnout without you noticing when you got there.
When my sense of humor, priorities, time clocked and longing for a break go off-kilter, I know I’m out of alignment. Like lights in a dashboard, when one of them starts blinking, I know I need a break. When they’re all on, I’m in the soup.
Do you recognize the signs in your behavior that warn you to back off? Leave me a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
With every gust of wind
The butterfly changes its place
On the willow
-Basho
October is always a chaotic month for me. It seems appropriate that at the end of the month is a holiday where ghosts, monsters and oversized cartoon characters wander the streets at early dusk asking for candy.
At the end of October, I am usually surprised to find that I made it through the month without incident. I tend to get so caught up in the drama of my life that I forget what I’ve learned to do – and do what is most comfortable. Retreating back to my comfort zone is my favorite way to avoid most of the chaos and madness.
That’s when the books I have piled up in my house come in handy: they help remind me of the fundamentals. This October I flipped through my favorite books on project management: those books that widened my perspective and set me off in a new direction in the areas of Emotional Intelligence and Project Management, the definition of “successful projects” and personal effectiveness.
Following are three ideas that I rediscovered:
- Beyond the world of PMBOK there is life. Projects are about people.
In a reread of Right Brain Project Management by B. Michael Aucoin, I came across the following reminder that projects are not about following PMBOK guidelines or checklists:
“While projects need plans and processes, what they really need is energy – human energy. Human energy and motivation spring directly from emotion. With a compelling purpose, projects that are seemingly impossible can achieve extraordinary results. Without a compelling purpose, a project can become tiresome.”
The book definitely provides a larger vision than the PMBOK of a what a project should be and continues to challenge me to grow. - The definition of project success isn’t based on a single metric.
It can be easier to focus on reaching the end date than focus on the other aspects of a project that will have someone (other than you) talk about the project as a success.Rereading Radical Project Management by Rob Thomsett I rediscovered a success gauge that I’d overlooked in previous reads: Success Sliders.
Thomsett takes the concept of a light dimmer switch and turns into a gauge for identifying your project sponsor’s priorities. Turning the switch sideways so that you increase the importance of a metric as you slide it to the right, he gets sponsor input on the importance of:- Having satisfied stakeholders
- Meeting the project’s objectives / requirements
- Meeting an agreed budget: resources, capital, equipment
- Delivering the product on-time
- Adding value to the organization
- Meeting quality requirements
- Having a sense of professional satisfaction for the team
He then recommends using the success sliders to help guide project decision-making. For perfectionists, the 7 sliders can help reduce the self-imposed pressure of having to hit a single metric in order to be happy.
- Stay Present and Flexible – or Not every problem needs a hammer
If your strength is in a single area, it can be hard not to use it in every situation. Jim Hassinger, one of the authors of The Randori Principles wrote about having to outgrow the use of his favorite aikido stance by staying present and being open to each situation.
As he writes, “It is possible to try too hard or be too forceful in fulfilling our expectations. Becoming rigid and forceful creates resistance and, ultimately, a power struggle. Adopting a dual attitude of clear intention with flexibility of response lays the groundwork for a productive relationship and high energy results.”
Hunkered down in my comfort zone, this passage was a good reminder that it was time to leave its safety and get back to being fully present in every situation. As Hassinger discovered in his sparring practice, staying present makes you less predictable and harder to knock down.
After surviving another October, it was nice to reread old favorites and remember why I still love project management. There is still so much more to learn. Do you have a favorite book to recommend for my collection? Leave me a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
Duck on a Log
Don’t take no for an answer. Take it for a question. Make the word “no” mean this question: ‘Can’t you be more creative than that?’
- Steve Chandler
When I ended my post 5 things Every PM Should Know Before Leaving Home, I knew the list was extremely short. It was also a very personal list. I hope they were helpful to you, but they were the things I needed to know before I left home for work.
Life has a way of squeezing you until something comes out. Sometimes you learn something in the process. Following are 5 more things a PM should know before leaving home. Given another couple of weeks in October, I’m sure I could come up with more, but I promise to leave it at 5.
5 More Things that Every Project Manager should know:
- Your Own Best Practices
Last month, Kevin Eikenberry wrote a post on knowing what values you pledge your allegiance to. Essentially, he wrote that when you live in a way that’s connected to your values, you will be happier and more successful. This is good advice for project management as well.Most project managers have their own best practices, or lessons that have been burnt into their hides from less than optimal experiences. Understanding what those are will make you less likely to be moved by circumstances or “strange attractors” on your projects. You’ll make decisions based on your own values or best practices.
If you’re a brand new project manager, the PMBOK can be a place to find tools to start your own toolbox of best practices. If you’re worried that you don’t have enough experience, be patient. Being a project manager will bring you life lessons.
- How to Read the Atmosphere
In Japanese, the phrase 空気読めない (or kuuki yomenai – not able to read the atmosphere) is used to describe people who act or say the wrong things. For some people, reading the atmosphere comes to them as easily as swimming seems to come to baby seals. For others, it is something that must be worked at every day.When trying to introduce change (which can be part of your job as a project manager) knowing how to read the atmosphere can be the difference between getting agreement and walking away from a meeting feeling frustrated.For those who are challenged in reading the atmosphere, as I am, sometimes the best advice is listen to what’s being said before you speak.
Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving til the right answer arises by itself?
- Tao Te Ching
- How to Laugh at Yourself
Do you have a tendency to fall into routines that you follow religiously? Do you become irritated when things don’t fall into place the way they “should”? It’s at times like these that I’ve found laughter to be particularly useful in shaking off the self-righteous pose I assume at those times.Laughter also helps me view the situation more constructively. If these flaws resemble you, it will help to find your funny bone underneath your irritation. Without a sense of humor, you will be miserable.
- How to Learn from the Unexpected
Sometimes right after you find out that the way ‘you’ve always done it’ won’t work here, you realize that you’re stuck. That’s the signal that it’s time to learn.Situations that show up unexpectedly can be things that you devoutly wish did not exist. This is when learning to step around the strong emotion (hate, anger, fear) so that you can learn from the mess can be very useful. Or you can sit in the strong emotion and stay stuck. Your choice.
- How to be Flexible
Now if you’ve managed to read the atmosphere, learn from a difficult situation and laugh at yourself, you may find that to get work done, you have to adjust your approach. The strength that brought you this far may be the weakness that will cripple you if you fail to be flexible.If you have to use a new tool, approach or method, do it graciously. Hanging on to what ‘worked’ before makes you look foolish and you miss out on an opportunity to learn. Everything in moderation, remember? Unless someone’s asking you to do something unethical (which I know you would never do because of the PMI Code of Conduct), give the new idea a shot. The world won’t end. Your view of what works may change, but that’s all good. Growth is the goal.
This is another short list. In your opinion, what things should a Project Manager know about themselves? Leave me a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
It’s the third week of the month again..
This week’s Bug on Windshield links are related to: Personal Effectiveness, Project Management, and Fun.
Personal Effectiveness:
- The Smart Way to Influence Your Boss
- The Art of Changing Easily and Gracefully
- How to Set Goals When you Have No Idea What You Want
- Leading from Your Values
Project Management:
- How to Keep Your Temper at Work (And Everywhere Else)
- 97 Things Every Project Manager Should Know
- 21 Ways to Excel at Project Management
- How do I get my 60 PDUs for PMP Re-certification?
Fun
- Cool Trailer from the 2009 Computer Animation Festival
- More from the Animation Festival – I love Animation and Graphics!
- Moment of Beauty: Ice Jellies
- The Ultimate Top 25 Chuck Norris “The Programmer” Jokes
- And Finally, A Project Manager’s Feed
That’s it for this month. Leave me a comment, send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
“Reality has its own power – you can turn your back on it, but it will find you in the end, and your inability to cope with it will be your ruin.”
– 50-cent and Robert Greene, The 50th Law
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Or in this case, by its author.
When I picked up the book, The 50th Law, I expected to find another quick-read self-help book. I did not expect to find it written by a rapper and a business author.
Even the cover is a little off-putting.
Without saying a word, most folks assume it’s a Bible and an old-style King James Version bible at that. That perception probably hurts its sales, but don’t let it stop you from picking it up.
I had a lot of expectations about what I would find, but I did not expect to find profoundly good advice for surviving this economy. Quoting Machiavelli, Sun Tzu and James Baldwin, the book began to teach me a few new truths.
In the first 50 pages, I’ve learned:
- “The greatest danger you face is your mind growing soft and your eye getting dull.”
In other words, our greatest danger is the problem that led us into this current economic mess: Not Paying Attention. To our job, to bad financial schemes in the market, to the changing world, to the line of work that we’re in. Whether we like it or not, the assumptions we’ve made about the world we live in will shift again and we need to not just be ready for it, but to anticipate it.In order to do that, the authors write, you need to convert to realism: or the way of looking at the world so that you see every circumstance and every individual as different. Then account for that difference. Leave behind your preconceptions and judge people “based on results, not friendliness or political values.”
- Fight our culture’s tendency to escape reality
The authors remind us how very different the United States is today from when it started: from a people who had to face the harsh realities of their environment to a people who spend millions to escape from our problems and the harshness of life. Our tendency to let fantasy and escapism dull our edge and clarity of vision makes us ineffective.
They suggest that we need to become keen observers of what’s around us by:
a) Rediscovering our curiosity – being open to new ideas
b) Know the complete terrain – don’t just get reports from others on what’s going on, but expand your familiarity with different ideas in your field, your business or your job.
c) See further ahead – develop a long term vision and learn to view your circumstances through that vision
d) Look at people’s deeds, not their words
e) Reassess yourself frequently – Every few weeks, review your actions and decisions as if they were done by someone else, and assess their effectiveness.
If you read past the first 50 pages, 50 cent and Robert Greene will cover topics as diverse as adaptability, staying relevant in the market as you get older, and leadership. As I said, I’m still reading through the book, but you know my rule: if I have to copy more than 10 pages from a book, it’s time to buy it. When I turned from page 49 to 50, I knew I needed to buy it. Even now I’m waiting for my copy to write notes in the margins.
A while back I made the commitment to being open to life-giving ideas, regardless of the source, but I didn’t realize how much my prejudices might still be filtering out good ideas. The 50th Law was a reminder to keep my eyes open for things that hit the edge of my filters, so that I wouldn’t miss something good.
Leave me a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inward and examine ourselves.
- Confucius
This summer I bought a book called 1001 Things Every Teen Should Know Before Leaving Home. I have long since left my teenage years behind and I have no teenagers, but I picked it up because it pointed out things like:
16. They should know that life isn’t about avoiding struggles, but overcoming them.
246. They should know successful people are delusional: they’re not as good or as smart or as necessary as they think they are. But their confidence takes them to the top.
or
1001. They should know to look forward. Not homeward.
Not only did I not know these things before I left home, the further I read into the book, the more I realized that there was a lot I still didn’t know.
This week I was idly paging through the book again when I realized that there were things that every project manager should probably know about themselves. They’re not as funny, but they’re just as important.
5 Things that every Project Manager should know about themselves:
- You should know your Hot Buttons
Losing your temper in the middle of trying to explain an issue not only fails to communicate your message, it can undermine the point you were trying to make. Knowing what situations can put you on edge or what situations can trigger your temper will make you more effective. At a minimum, you can avoid those situations. Then you need to go do the work to understand why your buttons were pushed. - You should know your physical limitations
When you are wearing two or more hats and carrying a heavy workload, it’s important to know when you’re feeling a little thin. When you’re feeling tired or just not feeling very good, you should stop. Turn off your computer and go rest. This is hard for you as you are a project manager, it is not in your nature. I give you permission: Go Rest. - You should know your strengths and weaknesses
This is the one that I have read so often that I almost don’t read it any more. I usually skim over it. The reason you’ve heard it repeated is because it’s true. You should know what you love to do and do well versus those things that you don’t. Math is not my subject. It never has been and probably never will be something I am particularly good at so I tend to stay away from things that involve numbers. Understand your weaknesses and lean on your strengths. - You should know when you’re ‘On’ and when you’re Not
You know what times of day you are at your best and what times you feel like you’re moving through sludge. Is it 4 in the morning? 3 in the afternoon? Sometimes this is lack of sleep, other times it can be blood sugar. Fight against the slow drain of energy by getting a pick me up: chocolate, soda, or caffeine. I’m guilty of this, so it’s something I need to work on. - You should know how to push your own buttons
Rather than letting your circumstances or your moods affect your entire world, you should know how to drive your own moods. I wrote about this in my previous post because I think it’s important. Understand what lifts you, what drags you down and how to get back up. I use music and hobbies to drive my mood back to where it needs to be. You know what makes you happy, find out how you can use it to manage yourself.
This is a short list. In your opinion, what things should a Project Manager know about themselves? Leave me a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
Shisso
Facing an overwhelming day?
Get hit with an unexpected project issue?
Without a positive attitude you will be less effective.
It’s ok to climb into your own little pit of despair when you are by yourself, but only when you’re alone.
When you are leading a project, people looking to you for a light at the end of the tunnel will hardly be encouraged to find you snuffing out the light and adding your own gloom to the atmosphere.
Stay upbeat by using these 5 tips:
- Remember it could always be worse
And it really could be. Think about the number of risks that could have materialized, but didn’t thanks to your risk mitigation activities, the team’s foresight in acting proactively on an issue or just your dumb luck. - Try stimulants and endorphin-generating activities
Legal ones. This is my personal favorite. Coffee, tea, cookies, chocolate, ice cream sundaes. Exercise, learning or reading also tend to produce some positive feelings that can help keep you upbeat. If this list seems a little tame to you – don’t complain, come up with your own. - Learn Learn Learn
This is one of my mantras. Sometimes the only good thing that you can glean from a situation is the gold you find underneath all the dirt that is there. Many times, some of the most valuable life lessons I have ever learned have come from moments when it would have been easier to go completely negative. - Think of 10 things that are working and only 3 that are not
This can be challenging, but I dare you to try it. It can take a bad mood out of commission. Recently, I was reading 1 Cor 13 in a new translation of the Bible called The Message. The passage I read said that Love “Always looks for the best.”My interpretation? Back off of my skewed view of life and try to find things that work, rather than look just for risks or problem. So I came up with a new rule: before I can dig for the issues, I have to find 10 things that are working, then I can identify only 3 that are not. Just three, not four or five. Three.
The goal is to overwhelm yourself with unexpected goodness. You’ll be surprised how many things are actually working if you look for them. Instead of heaping up a pile of despair that I can wallow in for a day or two, I find 10 things that are working and only three things to kick myself for. The bonus is the positive energy I can use to go work the 3 things that are broken.
- Turn Blue Moments into Golden Opportunities
Finally, if nothing else seems to work, try these tips from The Art of War for Women. The author, Chin-ning Chu, suggests that you “transform the blue puppy into a golden muse,” by using your bad moods instead of letting them use you. She recommends that you start off by
- Acknowledging the bad days. Accept them without judgment.
- Rejuvenate. Go with what your emotions are telling you and rest.
- Understand the power of simmering. Between room temperature and boiling, water‘s interim state is simmering. Chu suggests that we ‘simmer’ and gather the strength we need to take our next step. Forget about being productive. Find things that you think are “unproductive” and go do them. Now.
Now you know new 5 ways to stay upbeat during days that can only be described as challenging. How you manage your moods? Leave a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
General Growth
It’s the third week of the month again…
If you’re new here, the third week of every month, I pull together all the links that I’ve run into since last month that made me think or laugh.
This week’s Bug on a Windshield links are related to Personal Effectiveness, Career, Communication and a little Fun. I’m so tired of being serious all of the time. The Recession is killing our joy.
Personal Effectiveness
- Six Ways to Grow Daily
- Top 10 Podcasts for Growth
- Do You Have a System for Thinking?
- Ways to Change Your Thinking
- Series on Fear of Failure
- 47 Ways to Fine Tune Your Brain
Career
- 100 Places to get great Career Advice and Life Advice
- Networking for Project Managers
- Free PDU Resources from PM Student
Communication
- Communication Skills to Break Down the Barriers
- Made to Stick Resources – a Great Book – now a free resource page
Fun
- Your Life as Story
- Quote Series on Agile
- Motivation Quotes from the Art of Manliness (Trust me on this one)
- The Cat’s Piano. A breather from the ordinary
- Moment of Beauty from September: 4:44 Minutes of Tokyo
- A Game: Questionaut – a Bit of Wonder, a Lot of Questions
- A Game: Guest House: Can you escape from a space station?
That’s all I have for this week. If you have a question or comment, post one here or send me a tweet. My id is jgodfrey.
This is a story about two project managers.
One was fascinated with the nuts and bolts of how projects were managed. He did an excellent job in implementing the tools and techniques and year after year, his projects were released on time with high quality.
The other loved the nuts and bolts of how projects were managed, but understood how her efforts turned into business value. She made a point of mentioning how her projects were linked to business objectives and made sure she delivered interim milestones that delivered value to the business. She did an excellent job in implementing the tools and techniques and year after year, her projects were released on time with high quality.
Which of the two do you think survived the Economy’s recent shift into the Twilight Zone?
This is a fictional story, but my bet would be on Project Manager #2.
Why?
Because now more than ever, companies are expecting projects to deliver business value and they are looking for Project Managers with business savvy. PMI has picked up this theme in September’s PM Network and it is woven in and out of nearly every article in the magazine.
Some of the advice I came away with from this month’s PM Network:
Project Managers need to…
- Promote the value of project management – It’s not just overhead
In the From the Top column, Vice President Lori Ellsworth explains Compuware’s approach to evaluating project success, writing that Project Managers need to be better at promoting the value of project management and their project’s value to the business’ bottom line. There is a tendency to view Project Management as overhead, she writes, when it’s critical to the business. - Explain how your projects deliver value to the Business
Each project we lock down should have business value. PMs need to make the connection between our projects and their business value. At Compuware, even if a project is on-time, if it’s the wrong decision for the business, it still won’t be perceived as a success. - Display Business Acumen
In the Viewpoints column, Gary Heekins writes that in order to stand out from the pack, PMs need to take the initiative to “learn about (and participate in) the wide variety of issues and activities related to the business and strategic aspects of the projects they manage.” Knowing more about the business will make your contribution more valuable and will give others the perception that you are adding value. - Build Business Value into Project Schedules
September’s cover story: “Bare Bones”, speaks to the ways in which businesses are cutting costs. To reduce the risk of project cancellation, DHL has begun to build their project plans around business goals, so that benefits are spread out throughout the project’s lifecycle. If there’s no business benefit, they stop to evaluate the project. - Don’t Limit the Definition of Value to Money
When you’re the making the case for your project’s business value, don’t limit the definition to dollars. In the article, “Tough Sell”, Richard E. Hemmings of Arthur D. Little reminds us that value can also be defined as a project that improves the company’s future. Limiting our understanding of business value to dollars may result in cutting projects initiated to minimize risk or improve customer perception, less tangible values.
PM Network and the research publication, Project Management Journal, are a couple of the benefits of being a member of PMI. This month’s edition is definitely worth a read.
Have you noticed an increased focus on the business value of projects? Leave a comment or send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey.
“Strategy is not about rules, it’s about adaptation.”
“The Art of War is…about how you deal with the cards that life has dealt you – it is a holistic approach to winning.”
- Chin-ning Chu
The Art of War.
That title alone puts me to sleep.
I’ve tried reading it several times, each time failing to get through 10 pages, let alone learning something that would help me be a more effective project manager.
So when I read the cover of The Art of War for Women, I objected to it: first, because it seemed like an admission of my inability to get through the original book, second, because I didn’t like the idea of a “women’s version” and finally, because I didn’t want to fail to appreciate the “watered down” version for the girls.
But after reading the book, I want to go back and try to make my way through the original. The Art of War for Women is worth a read because it:
-
Leads us back to the original Art of War
Thanks to Chin-ning Chu’s skillful explanation of the principles, you begin to understand the value of the insights found in the original. It really is about winning with the cards you’ve been dealt. Since this is a quality of successful people, the original book is something to check out if you want to succeed.
With The Art of War for Women, you also begin to understand how to read obscure sentences like “Armed with the sense of righteousness and the blessings from Heaven, your army becomes fearless.” Chu presents this principle and then begins an excellent discussion on how you can make righteousness decisions that help you and your team succeed. After reading this book, I now understand how to read the original principles and derive useful insight for my career.
-
Provides Success Levers
I read business books to find ideas that I can use as levers to improve my effectiveness and then, through this blog, share the best ideas and books with others. While this book has ideas and advice derived from the Art of War, it has plenty of advice from the 21st century to make it worth reading in its own right. Managing your blue moments to encourage creativity and creating a unique resume to sell your abilities are a few of the useful tips that are packed in with insights from the original Art of War.
-
Reframes the idea of War
The title of the original, The Art of War, makes me think of a battle with casualties and blood. When today’s buzz words are collaboration and motivation, warring with others or other teams seems out of date. Chu explains that to the Chinese, war did not revolve around fighting.
Instead, war was “determining the most efficient way of gaining victory with the least amount of conflict.”Throughout the book, she provides insight on how to read the political landscape, improve your timing, and develop the indefinable quality of “Presence,” in an effort to help you win battles before you start.
- Trust me, this is a book you want to purchase.Have a book to recommend? Leave a comment, send me a tweet, my id is jgodfrey
